I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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