the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
