sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
