I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
