yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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