I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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