That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
