Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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