the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Acid is not a monday night drug
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
