I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
