Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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