Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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