Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
