is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
