He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
