It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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