We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You made out with two different species that night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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