Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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