whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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