idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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