I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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