omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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