I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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