I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize