I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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