babies were throwing up all over the place
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
