nut hugger
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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