Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
