When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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