No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
