Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize