Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
