We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
