i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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