We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
