covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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