hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
