I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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