I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
