it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
