Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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