i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
