If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
