scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
