Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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