I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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