Swine flu. Run for my life!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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