i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
