I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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