we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
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