We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You are the jesus of drinking
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
