This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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