He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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