This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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