we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
