I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
