Sry I called you an 8
I'm jealous of your bromance
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We got so high we made milksteak
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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