let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
