38 yer olds are good kisserssss
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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