Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
