And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
