i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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