oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
