Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
