My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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